One
Caring
for both Boo and my Mother has proven to be quite a task...a task I
love and for which I'm grateful, but a task nonetheless. Recently,
Mother and I had to have a few discussions on wants vs. needs.
One
day I received an urgent phone call from Mom. “I need you right
now!” So, I dropped
everything and ran across our backyards, unlocked her door and rushed
to her side. “I need a piece of Key Lime Pie.” Ummm...Key Lime
Pie does not constitute an emergency.
The
following day I received another phone call. “I need you right
now.” Slightly wiser now, I
questioned her. She'd been shopping with a friend and had some
nonperishables that needed to be put away. I told her I'd help her
put them away when I prepared supper.
Two
hours later I received another phone call. “ I need you right
now.” No explanation, but it
was almost supper time. I should mention here that the words: “I'm
stuck in the recliner and can't get up.” never, never came out of
her mouth. So, I walked over admiring the flowers and a bird nest on
the way...only to discover that she really did need me this time.
Mom
had lost the control to her recliner and was half in and half out of
it. She was scared to moved. And rightfully so. I had to brace the
recliner with my body and slowly lower it so that it wouldn't tip
over on her. We had the first of several discussions on wants vs.
needs and the importance of adequate communication so that I can
appropriately respond.
Has
any of this made a difference? Temporarily. And for now, that's
good enough.
Two
A
conversation overheard between Boo and Mother after supper one
evening:
“I'm
going to Chesterfield tomorrow. Do you want to go with me while Kari
goes off with Phyllis for a little while?”
“You're
going all the way to SC? They let you do that?
(It's
only 15 miles away and, yes, she's currently allowed to drive that
far under certain conditions.)
“Yes,
I'm going and yes, they let me. Are you going or not?”
“I
rode with you today. You get kind of shaky.”
Silence.
“Can
we get ice cream?”
“If
you want ice cream.”
“Don't
tell Kari. She won't let me date other women.”
I
had to back out of the room and run to the living room to laugh.
Does going off with your mother in law actually count as a date?
(Just so you know, I ended up going with Mom and Boo because Mom was
tired.)
Three
Mom's
now taking insulin (hopefully temporarily) to manage her diabetes.
After years of eating what she wanted and exercising by racing
through her favorite department stores (and one recent steroid shot),
she now has to toe the line. At the moment she's scared enough to do
it. Thank heavens!
Just
before she had the steroid shot, she was supposed to keep a record of
her blood sugar levels. I've fussed at her on and off for a couple
of months about not checking her blood sugar. Finally, because she
simply had to do so, I sat down with her and tried to get her to
check it herself.
And
discovered...Mom has evidently forgotten how to take her blood sugar.
I'd been fussing about something she didn't remember. Talk about
feeling lower than a snake's belly! I also realized that with
essential tremors, she's just too shaky to stick herself. Now, I
understand her refusal.
What
else is she refusing to do because she doesn't remember how or can't.
Mom is just stubborn enough not to tell me. So, I have to
stealthily guess.
By
the way, Mom is now very compliant about her diet, about letting me
check her blood sugar levels and giving her insulin. Exercise, not
so much. Well, OK, not at all.
Four
Boo
has determined that our home is the second floor in Mom's house. I
guess that's good inasmuch as we'll be here for several more days
until we know how Mom reacts to insulin and until she understands the
importance of an appropriate diet and knows the symptoms of both high
and low blood sugar.
Last
night Boo told Mother that he and Boudreaux were going home to bed.
I held my breath because home was definitely not in the picture right
then. He and the cat marched right upstairs. Boo went to bed.
Boudreaux caught two more mice and left them for me beside his food
upstairs. (Why are there mice upstairs?)
Five
Mom
has named the upstairs bedrooms. One is the Sunshine Bedroom. It is
bright and sunny. The other is the Antique Bedroom. It contains a
rope bed that Mother and Daddy bought and restored years ago, an
antique dresser (maybe a family heirloom?) and a tongue and groove
chest. Who names the rooms in their house? Evidently my Mother
does.
Boudreaux
has claimed the tongue and groove chest as his own. It's in a dormer
window with a cushion. He's convinced that this is his
spot. If we lose him or he gets
too quiet. He's generally on his chest watching the birds and
washing his beautiful red fur coat or napping.
Six
Boo
and Mother are planning shrimp for dinner tonight. Mother heard that
the truck stop just outside of town sells the best shrimp in town.
OK, let's see, there's only one other place to eat in this town. So,
it's possible that it is the best. There's not a lot of competition
for the Best Shrimp in Town title.
Last
Friday I baked shrimp with lemon slices, lemon butter and Italian
seasoning and served it with cheese grits. I told Boo it was polenta
with cheese. He was fooled about three minutes. That man hates
grits. I thought all Southerners had an inborn love for grits. It
appears that not all Cajuns do.
Seven
Because
of Mom's increasing health issues, I've begun a home health notebook
for her. I'm amazed at all that I don't know about her health. I'm
also amazed at all the forms that I'm using for her regularly. Well,
we are just learning about what helps control her diabetes and what
makes it more difficult to control. I'm keeping a chart with her
blood sugar levels and units of insulin given. This will be an
ongoing chart. Right now, I'm keeping a very accurate intake sheet
for Mom also. I imagine I'll only use this while we're stabilizing
her blood sugar levels. She has a blood pressure and pulse chart and
another chart for daily notes and exercise log (if she'll actually
exercise.)
I've
got to make a detailed medical history for her, a current list of
medical providers, update her medication list and, oh, never mind,
I'm tired just thinking about all that I need to do there. Pretty
soon, I'll be updating my Home Health Notebook post with links to
forms that I've found useful.
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