Thanksgiving Thoughts

While Boo is recovering from his kidney infection, we've had some wild conversations about everything from why cats have fur to reasons to give thanks. The last two days, I've read several quotes to Boo that he (and I) really liked. He insists that I add them to our thanks giving tree. I haven't been able to leave his side long enough to find an appropriate branch, “plant” it in a pot, and tie paper leaves to it. In years past, we've just written those things for which we are thankful on the leaves. I guess we'll be adding quotes this year...when I actually find the time to get a branch and cut out leaves.

Here are some of our favorite Thanksgiving quotes:

Bless the food before us,

the family beside us

and the love between us.

“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest

appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.”

                                                                                           John Fitzgerald Kennedy

Blessed are those who can take without forgetting and give without remembering.

Gratitude shares.

Appreciation speaks.

Thankfulness shows.

Compassion does.

                             Jill Davis

“Let us remember that, as much has been given us, much will be expected from us, and that true homage comes from the heart as well as the lips, and shows itself in deeds.”                                                                     Theodore Roosevelt

Give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.

                                                                     Native American saying

“On Thanksgiving Day we acknowledge our dependence.”

                                                              William Jennings Bryon

Almighty and gracious Father,

we give You thanks for the fruits of the earth in their season

and for the lavors of those who harvest them.

Make us, we pray, faithful stewards of Your great bounty,

for the provision of our necessities and the relief of all who are in need,

to the glory of Your name; through Jesus Christ our Lord,

who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit,

one God, now and forever.

Amen.

                                         Anglican Book of Common Prayer

Forever on Thanksgiving Day

The heart will find the pathway home.

                                               Wilbur D. Nesbit

“A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all other virtues"                          Cicero

 

 

As Thanksgiving approaches, I am so thankful that Boo is beginning to recover from his kidney infection, that Kim is having more comfortable days while continuing her battle with cancer, for all our family and friends and most of all, for a God who loves each of us as though we were His only child.

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Triggering Memories

Recording memories for Boo and some for my Mother has become a weekly activity. I found that if I push Boo too much to remember, he seems to close down and remember nothing. On the other hand, if we work on memories once a week and vary the “memory triggers,” then we have a lot more success. Here are ten simple ways I've found that seem to work well.

Old Photos

This is an easy one. Unless vision is an issue, looking at old family photos is a good prompt for reluctant memories. Mention things you notice in the photo that may not immediately trigger a reaction from your elder. The roses growing on the fence...what's the story behind those? Maybe Grandpa planted them for Grandma as a token of his affection or a neighbor gave Grandma cuttings from their rose bush that Grandma nurtured until they took off.

Recipes

My grandmothers and Boo's mother seldom seemed to rely on recipes. I wish they had. Nothing seems to taste as good as what I remember eating at their tables. Boo can describe dishes his mother and aunts made. Sometimes, that's enough for me to attempt the recipe. Usually, I search cookbooks and online recipe sites for similar recipes and then try to replicate one of Boo's “food memories.”

Family Treasures

This one is easy also. Who crocheted that table runner or the edgings on the pillow cases? Who made the table? Even if specific memories of that particular item are not forthcoming, general memories of Dad making furniture or Grandma's quilting bees may be unearthed. Looking at a handmade bedstead in an antique shop triggered a memory of his mother and aunts gathering moss to make mattresses when he was growing up.

Vintage Advertisements

On one of Boo's better vision days, we looked at old advertisements online. While he didn't seem to remember any of the advertisements we saw, they did bring back lots of memories. He described old cars his father had owned, trips they had taken when he was growing up and memories of one of his uncles working on cars at family gatherings. Boo remembered the cost of doughnuts at a local school, candy bars and peanut butter from various times.

Here's a link to one site for vintage advertisements.

Historical Events

What can your elder remember about WWI or II or the Korean War? Even if they didn't actually serve in the military, they may have memories of victory gardens, of rationing, of the return of family members or neighbors from the war or of their mothers or aunts working in war time factories. 

 

Old Songs

This has been a good one for Boo. Sing a longs were much more prevalent in years past than they are now. Older songs seem to trigger a lot of memories for Boo. He remembers singing while picking cotton when growing up. (He HATED picking cotton and gladly found other ways to earn money as soon as he was able!) I've found to be You Tube a great source for these old songs.

Walk through the old neighborhood

I've done this with my mother. Well, walk is probably overstating what we actually did. We slowly ambled. We strolled and we stopped frequently for Mother to reminisce. I learned who used to live in the house on the corner and all about them. I learned why my family called short cafe curtains Carrie Bell curtains. On that walk, I probably learned more about that street than I'd ever known.

Reading vintage children's books

This one I discovered by complete accident. Looking through some old books online, Boo asked me to read one to him. I told him he wouldn't be interested, that it was a children's story. Because he really wanted to hear it, I read it and showed him the old illustrations. Boo hadn't heard that book, but he told of others he did remember. I'm still looking for a copy of the early reader he had in school that featured a monkey. I learned to read with Sally, Dick and Jane. He had a monkey!

Visiting “Old Time” Festival Days

We haven't tried this because crowds and noise are such an issue for Boo. Watching threshing machines or old tractors could easily trigger memories. Seeing old machines, crafts and so forth should be a good memory inducer. Perhaps museums would be another possibility.

Family Reunions or visits with siblings, cousins, etc.

Seeing and talking to siblings and other relatives is bound to trigger do-you-remember-when moments. Or family arguments if your family is the argumentative type. Usually after talking to his sisters on the phone, Boo relates family stories. Mother just seems to come alive at family reunions. She's a veritable fount of family memories there.

Now that you've triggered memories.  Record them!

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Ten Things Dementia Cannot Do

Dementia can take so much away from Boo at times---his memories, his ability to function independently. His life has changed and changed dramatically in the last few years. This week end Boo and I talked about just how limited dementia really is. Several times he told me, “Dementia may be my cross, but it isn't me.”

It all started when I read him a poster about how limited cerebral palsy is. He thought about it and started talking. For once, I had a pen and the back of a grocery list to scribble notes while he talked. Even living with Boo every day, I missed so many of the ways dementia has not changed him. I guess I never really thought about that aspect of it. Just the limitations.

Dementia cannot

...kill my enjoyment of the PRESENT.

...lessen the power of TOUCH.

...diminish my STRENGTH.

...overshadow my JOY.

...crush my LOVE.

...control my ATTITUDE.

...take away my LOYALTY.

...steal my SELF.

...destroy my FAITH.

...deny me ETERNAL LIFE.

Boo's list of ways dementia does not limit him may not apply to everyone with dementia. They may not all apply to him later. Dementia is a strange disease that affects everyone a little differently. We don't know what the future holds. We do know Who holds our future in His hands...and that makes all the difference. 

 

 

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