Snow Cones and Thunderstorms

Boo, 2009

Boudreaux, 2010 (He really likes snow!)

Vermont, 1961

Yesterday was a very busy day for Boo. We had to be out and about for a couple of hours and he had to walk significantly more than usual. Boo handled it all quite well. Our only difficulty came when Boo woke in the early morning hours confused and disoriented...and certain that we were still out. With a lot of help from Boudreaux (the meowing, purring kind of help), Boo finally settled down enough to look at photos.

This morning's favorite photos were of snow. In fact, snow photos were the only ones that held his interest. We looked at photos of two granddaughters taken during a trip to Alaska this past winter, photos of Boo and of Boudreaux in the snow and photos of me in Vermont. The more Boo talked about snow, the more excited he got. All at once, he stood up and headed to the door. He was going out in the snow! When he opened the door and was confronted with the summer heat, he cried. He had so wanted snow.

I couldn't give him snow. That just doesn't happen at the beginning of August in North Carolina. I did make him four homemade snow cones. At 3:30 am, that was the best substitute I could manage. As it turns out, snow cones were a wonderful treat. Part of a can of no sugar added canned fruit, crushed ice, stevia and a drop of food coloring whirled in the blender makes a passable snow cone that doesn't raise his blood sugar. I think homemade ice cream is in order this evening.

After his snow cones, Boo was willing to go back to bed...which meant bedtime prayers all over again. God has been thoroughly thanked for snow, for cold weather, for snow cones, for snow men, for hot chocolate and for long johns (!!!). As soon as Boo finished his prayer, it started thundering. Usually thunderstorms are upsetting enough that Boo requires medication to tolerate them. Not this morning. This morning he calmly added, “And thank You for thunder and rain since You've forgotten how to make snow.”

This morning I'm thankful for a God who surrounds us with the heat of summer, the crisp days of autumn, the cold, snowy days of winter and the warm days of spring...an infinite variety of weather to satisfy us. I'm grateful for rest in the midst of thunderstorms. And I'm grateful that Boo is able to share the strange and wonderful twists and turns his mind takes. Even in the confused episodes of Boo's days, he can feel God's presence, recount his memories and be thankful for it all. God is good!

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Choosing to See

Preach the gospel at all times and when necessary use words.

St. Francis of Assisi

This has been a difficult and painful post to write. I am saddened and appalled by the attitudes that seem to be so prevalent in some parts of the medical community and in society as a whole...and to an extent in myself. In our mad rush to accumulate more things and to ensure that we, ourselves, are not inconvenienced, we've lost sight of the true value of life. We are quick to unburden ourselves of those children and adults among us who are disabled or elderly.

How many times have I run past a man standing on a corner asking for food or money? My easy excuse is that I have to get back to Boo. I don't have the extra money to share...and yet, I could speak. I could take him a cup of coffee or a cold drink. I could certainly pray for him. I could acknowledge that he is as human and as valuable as I am. I seldom do that. Sometimes I don't even notice him standing there. I am so caught up in my own life that I don't look past it to see my brother.

This morning after an upsetting phone call, all my anger and frustration came to a head. I was furious and with good reason. Still, my anger at Boo's diminished value in a “friend's” eyes because of his dementia and my anger that the same “friend” believed that I was wasting my life caring for him when I could be living, did nothing constructive. I didn't even knead a loaf of bread to work off my frustration. I just seethed. Kind of wish I had that bread about now.

I was feeling quite self righteous and morally upright. After all I know that Boo is no less a person now than he was before his strokes. I've carefully considered, and continue to consider, the best course of care for Boo at this time. I've actively tried to ensure that his physical, spiritual, mental and emotional needs are met to the best of my ability. I've made the choices that I truly believe are best for us...and as much as possible I've involved Boo in the decision making process.

And yet...don't I completely miss the mark many times? In my anger and frustration, I speak too quickly and don't consider my words. Instead of patiently explaining the precious value of life, even when that life is marked by handicaps or disabilities, all too often I rant and rave. Instead of allowing myself to be vulnerable and share the joys and sorrows of loving and caring for someone with dementia, I isolate myself. If I truly believe in the sacredness of all life, if I truly believe that we are all created in God's image, how am I living that out? How am I sharing that?

In the coming week, I challenge each of us to look around, really look. Then, look again. Who is on the fringes of our lives that needs to be acknowledged and loved? Who do we routinely overlook? As important as it is to verbalize our belief in the sacredness of life, it's even more important to show it, to put feet to our faith.
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Laughter

"He will yet fill your mouth with laughter, and your lips with shouting."  Job 8:21

I made this pastel of Boo four years ago and it remains one of my favorites.  The last couple of days, Boo has really laughed and enjoyed himself.  He seems to be on the mend.  Thank goodness!  Of course, he's not back to normal yet and is still sleeping a lot. 

Laughter is truly one of God's healing gifts.  As soon as Boo is able to laugh, to see the humor in every day things, his blood pressure is easier to control and he relaxes.  Then, the healing can really begin.  Isn't that true for all of us?  When we laugh and relax, God can more easily show us what He wants us to see.  He is more able to heal us physically and emotionally.

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Still Present

“You make him joyful with gladness in Your presence.”

Psalm 21:6b NAS

Today is one of those days. Boo is having trouble staying oriented. He has a minor infection which causes him to be more confused than usual. I've spent much of the day reorienting Boo to time and place, checking his blood pressure and blood glucose readings, helping him to the bathroom, feeding him small snacks, talking calmly to him...and repeating the process. I've washed dishes and one load of clothes. That's all I've accomplished today. And I had such plans for the day until reality took me by the hand and led me down a different path.

In the midst of my frustration, I thought of all the times I've wandered off the path and God has listened to my litany of complaints. He's held me gently and waited for me to calm enough to listen to Him and allow Him to lead me. And then had to repeat the process many, many times. (I'm a slow learner.) The patience and love He has shown me, I've not deserved.

After one of Boo's mini naps today, he grabbed my hand and joyfully announced to an empty room, “She's still here!” Well, of course. Then again, don't I react the same way with God? I still find myself thrilled that God is continually there for Boo and me. Right in the middle of our messy, chaotic lives, God is present, loving us, caring for us and gently leading us closer to Him. Today I'm most thankful for Emmanuel---God present with us---for in His presence we have all we really need.

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