Broken Arm!!!

Tomorrow my mother is coming home from a visit to my sister at the beach.  Faye (a cousin-in-law who's a candidate for sainthood) will be driving her back.  It seems Mother had a rather eventful visit.  Yesterday she sat in a wicker chair at a store, fell backwards and hit her head.  For once, her hard head came in handy.  She has no concussion. 

That should have been enough excitement for her, but no, not my mother.  She made it back to my sister's house and decided to go in the back door.  Sound reasonable to you?  No indeed.  The steps leading to the front door have a sturdy hand rail.  Mom knows this and was reminded of it several times this visit.  Tempting fate, or her hard head once again, she choose to use the back door.  You know, the one without a hand rail? 

Mom fell...again. 

Her head is fine.  Thank you for asking! 

Instead, she broke her arm.  Her right arm.  She's right handed. 

I strongly suspect that we'll be rather busy around here for a while.  Monday morning I have to call Mom's primary care doctor for an immediate referral to an orthopedic surgeon.  Currently she has a soft cast.  She needs a hard cast and possibly surgery (or so I'm told.) 

And then there's her daily care...She'll need help bathing, dressing, toileting and figuring out just how to do things with her left hand and how to do them safely.  As independent as Mom is, I need to quickly find as many ways for her to maintain her independence as possible.  I need to put my thinking cap on and really work at this one.  Somehow, I've got to come up with a strategy that will enable Mom to gracefully accept the help that she needs right now and to encourage her to remain as independent as she's able to be.  Any ideas?

I've already begun to prepare Boo.  We may need to stay with Mom for a while.  If she has to have surgery, I'll need to be at the hospital to thoroughly understand her care afterwards.  As a matter of fact, I need to go with her to her appointments to ask questions and be sure that I know what to do.  Boo understands that he may well have to have a "sitter"/helper when I'm away with Mom.  At least, he understands right now.  My biggest concern is being able to adequately care for both Mom and Boo, particularly at night when Boo is easily confused. 

We'll see how this goes.  Your prayers would certainly be appreciated whenever we come to your mind.  I guess this also means that blogging every day in May just won't happen this year. 

Seven Quick Takes # 20

One

 

This has been a difficult week for me.  I developed a bone infection and have felt miserable most of the week.  Intensive antibiotic therapy and more rest than usual seems to have nipped it in the bud.  This morning I finally feel like myself, sort of anyway.  My "Blog Every Day in May" challenge is far behind right now.  I think I'll just pick up and continue on, not try to catch up.  I have quite enough catching up to do in laundry and house cleaning.  Oh well...

 

Two

 

A cousin's wife has taken Mom to the beach this week to spend some time with my sister.  We have her cat, Boots.  Boots has never been away from Mom in the three years that she's had him.  His first night at our house was rough.  He cried and wandered.  Boudreaux followed him trilling low in his throat and purring.  About daybreak they decided to sleep.  Since then, they've done well. Yesterday Boots followed me to Mom's house to check on things.  When he realized she wasn't there, he ran back to our house and waited at the front door for me to return. 

 

We were awakened by two very distraught cats this morning. It seems there was a female in heat moaning outside our window. Boots was at the foot of our bed and Boudreaux as close to me as possible. Both had huge eyes and were NOT leaving the bed until someone did something to help the poor kitty who was obviously in pain. The two boys have been neutered and have NO idea what's going on, but they don't like it. Boo tried to explain the "facts of life" to the cats. Now, that was a priceless moment...I caught the end of his discussion, "Don't look at me like that! I'm not making this up, you know!"

 

Three

 

I've become pretty adept at smoothies and milkshakes this week.  I haven't really felt like cooking.  Since Mom was gone, I cheated and just made simple things.  This morning I made a spinach,, tomato and cheese omlette with a fruit salad.  I was impressed with myself.  Boo wasn't.  He lobbied for a strawberry smoothie...which he will get for lunch along with a grilled cheese sandwich.  It's amazing how many different combinations of healthy smoothies I managed to create this week.  The only one Boo disliked was orange, peach, carrot and wheat grass.  He tried to feed it to two very finicky cats who refused to even sniff it. 

 

Four

 

Elizabeth celebrated her twenty-third birthday last Sunday.  (You remember her.  You prayed for her last fall when she was having chemo.)  Sunday was the first time I'd spoken to Elizabeth since we moved back.  As usual, she was positive and upbeat...and busy helping others at her birthday reception after church.  She is a joy and an inspiration.

 

Last night Elizabeth's sister posted,

 

"I always knew my sister was born to kick ass! She's been kickin' mine since she was born. Little did I know she wasn't made that tough to handle me but to kick cancer's ass not once but TWICE. Liz starts the second round of her fight next week.

I tell you once thing, whether its showing me tough love, opening her heart fully to strangers or sadly now battling cancer again...she kicks ass at it!"

 

Please add Elizabeth and her family to your prayers once again.

 

Caroline, Elizabeth and their Mom at Elizabeth's birthday reception last Sunday.

Five

 

I had planned to wash clothes and hang them on the clothes line today.  (Does anyone else hang out clothes or am I the only one anymore?)  I think maybe I was a little optimistic.  It's just after 10 am here and I'm exhausted.  Still, there's nothing more satisfying than the smell of clothes dried outside...except for the smell of baking bread.  If I hang my clothes on the line, will you gather them in later?

 

Six

 

I've been reading light things this week.  I've read a book by Erma Bombeck aloud to Boo and parts of one by Dick van Dyke.  Boo wanted something deeper.  I couldn't handle deep discussions this week.  In fact, I haven't had many discussions at all.  Mostly, I've slept or just vegetated.  Boo watched something on TV last night that he wanted to discuss.  Not me, I curled up and closed my eyes. 

 

This morning Boo had a solution.  As soon as Mom comes back from her trip, the two of them can listen to an Audible book and discuss it.  I wish that would work, but they have very different tastes in books.  Right now, Mom's enjoying old Harlequin romances from the 50's and early 60's.  Not exactly Boo's cup of tea.  This week end, I simply must take the time to listen to a book with Boo and discuss it.

 

Seven

 

There was a quote on Facebook that has stuck with me all week.  "A true leader isn't one who achieves victory at any cost, but one who keeps the group together until victory is attained."  That is the kind of leader I want to be...the kind who can instill such love and commitment in a group that they work together to achieve a common goal.  Once you've accomplished your goal, you still have your relationship with your group...a double victory!

 

That's it for thinking!  Now, out to the clothes line!  Have a great week end!

 

Join Jen at Conversion Diary for more Quick Takes.

 

 













This Is My Call

“This is my call.

This is my vocation.

This is my witness to the world.”

This past Friday I stumbled upon Joy of 9, a blog written by Melanie Jean Juneau. On her blog header is the quote above. That quote spoke directly to my heart. I collect quotes and have several books full of phrases that are meaningful to me. This is the first one that “fit” me so perfectly.

Recently a friend, a young mother, encouraged me to go to work, to do something meaningful and important with my life. She caught me in one of my sleep deprived states. I could barely string a coherent sentence together, much less give her a reasoned defense of my choice to quit work and care for my husband after his second stroke and recently, to move closer to my Mother and care for her as well.

I know my heart. I know this is where I am supposed to be right now. I know I'm doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing. Explaining it is another matter. No matter how I try, the end result sounds “holier than thou.” That is definitely something that I'm not. My faults and failings are all too obvious.

Melanie simply, succinctly and humbly said just what I felt and had been unable to verbalize. At this point in my life I am called to care for my husband and my mother. I am very grateful to be able to do so. This truly is my vocation. This is my witness to the world. It isn't a flashy or popular decision. It probably doesn't look like a particularly smart move to many people. I won't be accomplishing great things or moving mountains. Instead, as Mother Teresa said, “In this life we cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love.” These small things imperfectly done, but done with love are my witness to the world. Usually it's just a quiet, invisible witness...but it's the one I'm called to make.

Join Jenni in her Blog Every Day in May Challenge.  Join also with The Sunday Community, Spiritual Sundays, Sabbath Moments and Hear It On Sunday, Use It On Monday for more wonderful posts.

Seven Quick Takes Friday # 19

One

 

I forgot today was Friday!

 

I'd thought all week about this post...and then the day I should write it, I completely forget until night time.  Oh well, the best laid plans and all that.

 

Besides forgetting the day of the week, I've managed to accomplish quite a lot this week.  Most of my time seems to be spent helping Mom or Boo.  Still, in the midst of running back and forth, I did manage to clear some things from my growing to do list.

 

I painted my milk crate type plastic boxes, hung sheers in the living room and valences in the kitchen, vacuumed and cleaned house twice, prepared meals for Mom, Boo and myself all week, learned to use the basic functions on our "new" convection stove, washed umpteen loads of clothes and paid bills.  I'm progressing.

 

Two

 

I spent the afternoon battling the wisteria taking over my little flower garden.  I began with a love for wisteria and a desire to contain it's wild growth.  Four hours, two broken nails and a lot of tears later, I'm not so sure I like wisteria at all.  It's kind of like kudzu.  It just takes over.  One of our neighbors told me to saw it down, but that even that wouldn't kill it.  He did say that when it began growing back that I could train it to go where I want it to go.  We'll see.  I'm not convinced that wisteria is trainable at this point. 

 

The score today was Kari 0, Wisteria 1.  Just as soon as I uncover an appropriate saw that will change!

 

Three

 



Today is National Scrapbooking Day...I think.  It seems to be the beginning of a week end of scrapbooking product sales, contests and give aways.  I'm pumped!  I thoroughly enjoy digital scrapbooking.  Not that I've done any since I moved.  That's about to change!  I feel scrapbooking fever about to descend.  Watch out!  I'm taking new photos and scanning old ones...and stealing photos from friends to scrap.  No one is safe.

 

I have begun taking photos of Mom's treasures and getting her to tell me about them.  I've made audio recordings of her talking about her mother's pie safe and how she and Daddy found the apothecary chest.  Originally, I planned to make a scrapbook of Mom's treasures for her and I will.   I may also make a video for my children and nieces and nephews of her treasures with her voice.  That would be something to build and hold on to memories.

 

Four

 

Tomorrow afternoon is going to be interesting.  Mom and I have to take our Boudreaux and her Boots to a rabies clinic.  I'm not sure just how this is going to work.  Both cats are afraid of dogs.  So they'll both be in carriers.  Boots loves to ride in the car.  Don't ask.  He just does.  He doesn't like to be in a carrier.  Boudreaux, on the other hand, has never met a car he liked.  He doesn't mind his carrier...though dogs and vets, especially vets with needles, are on his list of things to be avoided at all costs.  I'm not looking forward to this excursion!

 

Five

 

Tuesday Mom, Boo and I went town and had our hair cut.  This may not be a momentous occasion to most people, but it was for us!  Mom finally decided to try getting her hair cut and styled again.  Her beautiful white hair is getting rather sparse and she's worn a wig for quite a while.  After trying some special shampoos to thicken her hair, she was willing to try.  Mom looks beautiful!  With summer coming up, she'll be so much cooler.

 

Boo has developed a deep seated fear of hair salons in the past year.  I was ready for major problems.  My only consolation was that we were less than two blocks from the local hospital that we really like.  Boo walked in, sat to have his hair cut, answered questions the stylist asked him and then proceeded to initiate a conversation with her.  I was shocked! 

 

After we got our hair cut, we went to the pharmacy.  Boo elected to sit in the car while Mom and I ran inside.  He asked what he could do.  So, I handed him Mom's wig and told him to hold his mother-in-law's hair.  Boo took the wig very gingerly in two fingers, but the look he gave me was priceless.  When I came back from the pharmacy, Boo looked at me very seriously and said, "No one wanted G'ma's wig.  I asked."  Was he really trying to give her wig away?

 

ich

Six

 

One of the few things that I really disliked about our home was the stove.  It was apartment sized, which I could live with, and the oven didn't work, which is an issue for someone who likes to bake.  I could easily make do with what I had because Mom's oven works just fine and she certainly isn't using it.  Then, this week Mom and I found a stove at one of her favorite places here, a used furnature and auction shop.  Mom was thrilled.  I looked at the stove from a distance and liked it.  William delivered it a few hours later.  It's a regular size stove which does make our small kitchen look smaller, but it's a Kitchen Aid with a convection oven!  My dream stove!  It works beautifully, except for the light at the top of the stove and the oven light which I can easily replace.  Let the baking begin!!!!

 

Seven

 







Charlotte has come to live at our house...at least I hope it's a writing spider like Charlotte.  For several nights there's been a large spider's web complete with spider beside our back door.  Every morning, it's no where to be found.  Well, there is a thread, but no web.  If this is indeed a writing spider, I understand that one could conceivably follow the thread back to Charlotte's hiding place.  That is, if one wasn't terrified of spiders.  I am terrified. 

 

Here are several photos of Charlotte's murderous activities last night.  Yeah, I know they're fuzzy.  To begin with, I was shaking.   Both spiders were also moving.  Well, until Charlotte murdered the intruder.  Then only one was moving. 

 

 

 

Join Jenn at Conversion Diary for more Quick Takes...without spider photos.





Boo's Uncomfortable!

Since Boo's third stroke, the number of situations that he finds uncomfortable has definitely increased.  His ability to handle these discomforts has decreased dramatically.  There are wonderful days when Boo is feeling well physically and safe emotionally, when he is showing few signs of dementia.  Those are his good days.  Days when he can face the world head on.  Days when he initiates conversations with strangers.  When new situations are less troublesome. 

This past Tuesday was one of Boo's wonderfully good days.  For several months I've tried to get Boo's hair cut.  On three separate occasions we made it into the hair salon, got him ready to have his hair cut...and he panicked.  The last of those times he was so upset that it took two friends and myself to lead/carry/wrangle him back to the car before he could calm down.  Tuesday, we tried again.  Boo had never been to this hair salon and I was prepared for all kinds of trouble.  Instead, he walked in, sat down, allowed me to tell the stylist how I wanted his hair cut and then shocked us all by answering questions she asked him and, most surprising, by initiating a conversation with her.

More often, Boo's days are littered with fears, with difficulty expressing himself, with confusion and disorientation and uncertainty.  Usually at some point every day, Boo simply cannot find the words he needs.  For a man who'd always had a rich and varied vocabulary and who loved to have deep conversations with friends about anything and everything, this is a hard pill to swallow.  Immediately after his third stroke, he began falling asleep in the middle of a conversation when he was at a loss for words.  I suppose the only way he could deal with this frustration was to completely block it out.  To cope now, a couple of years after his last stroke, he just throws his hands up in the air.  Boo still follows the conversation and will sometimes vigorously nod or shake his head, but seldom tries to speak again. 

One of our blessings is Boo's attitude.  He's almost always positive and happy.  That, more than anything, helps lessen the impact of uncomfortable situations.  When he couldn't find our bedroom last night, Boo announced that he wanted a new cane, one with a map to the bedroom.  But until we got one, could I please show him where his bed had moved?  

Another coping strategy Boo uses is talking to his cat, Boudreaux.  When he's confused, he'll call his cat and proceed to tell Boudreaux all that's going through his mind.  Maybe it's less of a strain to talk to a very accepting cat who thinks you're wonderful no matter what.  Those conversations with Boudreaux give me quite a lot of insight into what's bothering him.  At times, I can explain whatever is confusing him.  Usually I work to change whatever's bothering him and assure him that I'm trying to make things easier for him. 

One of our most effective weapons in handling Boo's discomfort is a routine and preparation for times when we have to vary his routine.  For instance, if Boo has a doctor's appointment, I begin a week in advance and tell him about that appointment, that we'll leave home right after breakfast and probably return just before lunch.  Each day I'll remind him of this expected change and add a little more.  Perhaps I'll remind him that one of the nurses has a dog named Boudreaux (the same name as his cat) or that I'll have some photos that he can show the staff (that's generally a good way to get him to begin to talk to the nurses or the doctor.)  Often after several days of reminding Boo, he'll begin to remind me to pack his photos or ask what we're eating for lunch when we return. 

Although Boo is limited by the effects of stroke related dementia, we have learned ways to help him cope...at least some of the time.  Other times we just rejoice in the good times and store up memories to carry us through.

 

Join the fun and accept the challenge to Blog Every Day in May.

Kari's Micro Autobiography

We'll be attempting to join Jenni at Story of My Life for her Blog Every Day in May Challenge.  I'm not sure how well we'll be able to add this to our schedule.  I'm still struggling to find time to meet Mom and Boo's needs, to complete our home (Is it ever really finished?) and carve out a little time for myself daily.  One more thing?  I don't know, but I'd like to have more consistent blogging time now and I think I can add it if I'm more organized.

 

There's just no way I can condense my life into one meaningful paragraph.

 

I define myself mostly in relation to others...child, wife, mother, sister, friend, co worker, cousin, aunt and, most of all, a child of God.  As long as I can remember that's been the case.  It still is.  For a very long time, I considered this a definite weakness.  As a child and young adult, my self-worth was far too tied to other's perceptions of me.  I had to learn to love and value myself no matter what others thought...something that was extremely difficult and that I still struggle with from time to time. 

Now I can see the strengths in this.  My relationship to someone helps to define the boundaries of that relationship.  Relationships with others enhance my life in so many ways.  I enjoy reading, baking, crocheting and writing, but relationships are what truly enrich my life.  One of the ways God speaks to me is through other people.  I often have a hard time relating to a Spirit.  People I can see and touch, or potentially see and touch, are more accessible to me emotionally.  I think God uses this part of my make up to reach me many times.

As autobiographies go, this one only glances at the surface of who I am.  It does define me emotionally.  The dates, places, people and experiences that are a part of my life...well, they'll have to wait for another time.  This was supposed to be one paragraph or about 250 words.  I write too much...just as I talk too much.  Oh well...

       

 

Chats on the Farmhouse Porch # 6

1.  When it's time to cut the grass/mow the lawn, who does it?

Kari:  Bobby mows our yard and Mom's yard.  I have cut the grass in years past, but it's not my favorite chore.  Somehow, running between our house and Mom's, I doubt I'd manage the lawns well right now. 

Boo:  Some nice guy did and he popped Kari's dandelions.  I don't think she was happy.  Bobby did pop some of my dandelions.  I really enjoy battering and frying dandelion blooms.  Yummy!  I also add new dandelion leaves to salads in the spring or steep the leaves for a tea rich in minerals.  Please don't pop or poison my dandelions!

2.  If someone gave you $500 and you could not spend it on yourself.  Who would you spend it on?

Kari:  That's tough!  I'd probably split it between several charities...I think.  On the other hand, several friends are having a really rough time financially.  If I could give them the money in such a way that they never knew who'd given it, I might choose that.

Boo:  Food for the hungry.   I think Boo's getting hungry himself.  He refused breakfast earlier.  I guess he's finally thinking about food now.

3.  Have you ever taken a blogging break or considered one?

Kari:  Yes, when life is too hectic, I have taken blogging breaks.  Life trumps blogging. 

Boo:  Only if Kari does.  I don't blog.  She types what I tell her.  We tried Dragon software that would enable him to speak and the computer would type what he said.  Evidently neither he nor the software liked the idea. 

4.  Are you bothered by spring allergies or hay fever?  If not spring, any other time of the year?

Kari:  I'm allergic to the pollen of certain trees.   I haven't been bothered this year.  For me there seems to be a direct correlation between a low immune system and allergies.  At present, my immune system is functioning well.

Boo:  I don't think so.  

5.  What's new with you?

Kari:  New?  Well, I had a fight with our bed last night.  I tried to put a board under my side of the mattress to make it firmer.  Now I waited until 10 pm to start this project and determined that it was a one woman project.  By 12:30 am, I'd begun waving a white flag.  I couldn't get the mattress top in place without moving the board around.  It didn't help that the board is four or five inches too long for the bed.  Guess who's tired this morning?

Boo:  I guess getting my hair cut.  Kari says I have to and we couldn't reach Melinda to come to the house to cut my hair.  So, after lunch, G'ma (Kari's mother), Kari and I are going to get our hair cut and buy oatmeal.  Well, the theory is that Mom will be home from the auction in time to eat lunch and then we'll all go get our hair cut and buy a few groceries.  I guess in Boo's mind groceries equal oatmeal.

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