Where Has Lent Gone?

The beginning of Holy Week...it just doesn't seem possible. Where has Lent gone?

I had plans for Boo and I to observe a holy Lent, to fast, to gain great spiritual insights, to renew our lives. Those were the plans. Life intervened. We have fasted from meat on Fridays. Because of Boo's health and age, he's not required to fast. He wanted to do so. We've prayed the Rosary almost daily. Boo has been determined to pray the “whole prayer” not just a decade or two. More often than not, he's succeeded. We've prayed the Divine Mercy chaplet several times weekly. I'd intended to read one or two books and participate in an online retreat.

 

That got pushed to the side. Instead, Boo and I are hastily preparing to move closer to my Mother.  We're pulling up stakes here and planting them in a small town.  We're (read I'm) throwing away, donating, packing and cleaning.  Well, not as much cleaning as I should, but I'm working on that.   

This wasn't the Lent I planned. At this point in the season, I planned to be refreshed, ready for the observance of the final week of Jesus' life, ready for renewal and joy. Instead, I'm rushing through decluttering and packing. I'm frustrated by the number of things I've yet to complete, plans that still aren't finalized. So much yet undone.

Admittedly, with all my frantic decluttering, I do feel less encumbered by things. I have repeatedly found myself praying as I worked. Still, this wasn't the way I planned for things to be. I don't have time to sit and reflect. I haven't made great strides spiritually. This isn't where I planned to be.

And yet...when Jesus entered Jerusalem on a donkey, did He feel ready? He'd loved, taught, worked and lived with his apostles. Did He experience any of the frustration, any of the sense of incompleteness that I'm feeling?

Maybe this isn't such a bad place to be spiritually. I've made small, very small strides. Sometimes I pray without thinking as I work. Sometimes I set realistic goals for part of the day. Not completely new achievements. Not perfect achievements. Progress nonetheless.

I think I've considered Lent as a journey to the final destination of Easter. And it is. It's just that Easter isn't the end for us. I still have to live out my faith. I still have to work towards being the person God is calling me to be. I'm not finished. I think I really envisioned myself taking a well deserved spiritual break after Easter. You know, kind of rest on my heels and admire the awesome spiritual advancements I'd made while my life resumed it normal course.

Instead, I find myself wanting to press on, to continue my small strides. At least, that's my take on it this morning.

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New Lenten Discipline and a Video of Boudreaux

Lent is a time to rid yourself of unnecessary things in your life and to add the essential. Right?

Well, in the spirit of Lent, I'm adding the spiritual discipline of moving. OK, not just moving. Purging, decluttering, packing and moving in less than two weeks.

Letting go of the unnecessary is easier when I consider packing items and unpacking them again. Is it truly something we need or really want? Can we do without this? Yeah, I think I've got this part down pat. Thrift stores get ready!!! We've got bags of stuff for you! It helps that I don't have time to really think long and hard about different items.

Adding those things that are essential is more problematic. Patience with Boo when he asks the same question time after time, patience with myself when I'm overworked and tired...that's harder. Remembering and making time for prayer...that's been an issue the last couple of days too.

Another essential that I need to add is trust. Trust that I'll have the physical and emotional strength to do all that I need to get ready for this move alone, trust that the house we're moving into will be ready, trust that Boo will remember the area well enough that he won't be too confused when we move and trust that this is the right move for us.

I guess a little additional information is necessary...

We're moving back to the lovely, very small town we left a year and eight months ago. I thought we had good reasons to move. Circumstances change. Boo is less willing to get out and about because there are so many people here. Even going out for coffee is overwhelming for him.

When we moved, we had no immediate family in the area. Mom had moved away for several months, but has returned to the area and plans to stay there. Now she needs help with some day to day things. Our new home will almost be in her backyard. So, theoretically, it will be easier to care for Boo and give Mom the help she needs to remain independent.

Besides, Boo and I both prefer the quiet, slower pace of life there. Boo enjoys sitting on the front porch and speaking to everyone who walks by. (Yes, people really do walk by, wave and talk. Just like in small towns years ago.) At this point in our lives, slow is better. It's certainly easier to get Boo out to do things when he knows the people he sees will be familiar. I'll be busy and happy with Boo and Mom, getting to know some of my cousins that have retired to the area and connecting with old (and new) friends on the internet.

Here's to my new, very practical spiritual discipline...moving. Moving away from the unnecessary clutter in our lives and moving toward emphasizing those things that are essential.  Letting go of the fear of change and failure, embracing family and new friends and grabbing onto trust with both hands and holding on.

Ummm...prayers for our move and my sanity would be greatly appreciated.  When I take the time to think about what I'm obligated to do, I panic. 

And here's a video of Boudreaux trying to catch the aquarium fish.  It has nothing to do with anything in this post.  Boo just likes it.

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