One
of the things I never realized when Boo and I began this journey was
the need for support. At first, I thought I was invincible. Nothing
that Boo, his doctors or home health care threw at me was too
difficult. I could do ANYTHING. And I could do it alone, without
anyone's help. After all, wasn't that part of being a wife? Part of
“in sickness and in health”?
Well,
that didn't last too long. I caught a virus and crashed. Suddenly
my I-don't-need-any-help attitude didn't seem so realistic anymore.
In fact, getting out of bed to prepare a can of soup didn't seem
realistic either. Fortunately, my rescuing angel came in the form of
a determined coworker who brought us a meal. OK, really she brought
me ginger ale and oyster crackers and a meal for Boo. She also set
up an informal daily round of friends to check on us and help with
daily necessities---whether I wanted help or not. I'll always be
grateful that she stepped in with help I didn't think I wanted and
pushed me to accept what I so desperately needed.
I
began to better understand our need for friendship and support.
Still, my vision of what friendship looked like was no longer
workable for us. Going out for dinner and a movie, having friends
over for a meal, spending the day shopping or at a street fair...none
of those familiar activities were even a remote possibility. Our
lives had changed and I needed to adjust my expectations. That was a
very difficult time for me.
The
face of friendship has evolved for us. The phone and the internet
have become integral parts of our daily life. Instead of spending
the day shopping, I frequently get emails from a few friends with
coupon codes or special online offers. (Did you know that Wal-Mart
and Amazon usually offer online coupons and free shipping on items we
routinely use for Boo's care? Definitely good for the budget and a
time saver too!) A quick ten minute Face Book chat with a friend
over coffee brightens my whole day and gives us both a mini break.
Boo finds it easier to talk on the phone than to meet a friend for a
meal. Most days he finds it difficult to tolerate the visual and
audible confusion in stores, restaurants and other public places.
I've come to realize that even though we are more home bound than I
would like, avenues for friendship abound.
Besides
friendship, Boo and I need other types of support. One resource that
I've found extremely helpful in the last nine months is email contact
with Boo's doctors. The particular practice he uses has an website
that allows us to access the results of his medical tests, his
general information and to email questions to his doctor. We've
received amazingly quick responses to most emailed questions.
Sometimes an email response is sent, but usually we receive a phone
call. This service has eliminated unnecessary office and emergency
room visits and has resulted in better care for Boo.
One
area that has been lacking is information about the realities of day
to day caregiving. Through books, tips from home health agencies and
other medical professionals and trial and error I've cobbled together
a workable life. It just doesn't seem like enough. I know there are
excellent courses available, but leaving Boo to attend one isn't an
option. Yesterday I stumbled across (or was led to) a website that
either offers many of the resources I've wanted and needed or have
links to places that do. Catholic Caregivers is an answer to prayer.
Thanks so much to the Dodds for all the work they've done in
preparing this wonderful resource.
Thank
you to everyone who has been so wonderfully supportive and
understanding of us during this part of our journey, who have truly
held us up!
No comments:
Post a Comment