“
Freedom consists not in doing
what we like, but in having the right to do what we ought.”
Blessed
John Paul II
In
no way are the decisions I've made the right decisions for everyone.
God will guide each of us to make the decisions that are best for us
and for our loved ones...at that moment. Please turn to Him for
ultimate guidance. What I share is based on my experience. God
loves you and your loved one. He alone knows what is best in your
unique situation.
I
remember the day Boo had his second stroke. That was the day our
lives changed irrevocably. We'd been married less than two months
and our commitment to each other and our marriage was tested.
I
knew that my responsibility was taking the best care of Boo that I
could. At the time, I really didn't know just what that would look
like. I was sure that after Boo had a brief rehabilitation at home,
I'd be able to return to work and our lives would return to normal.
That
was my plan.
That
was not what happened.
It
became apparent to Boo's doctor, his therapists and to me that he
simply wouldn't be able to handle eight to nine hours alone so that
I could return to work full time. In fact, he couldn't handle three
or four hours alone.
This
time my resolve to stay home with Boo and care for him was stronger.
I wasn't sure just how we were going to make our limited budget
stretch to meet our basic needs. I did know that was a minor
consideration and one that we'd manage somehow.
The
larger consideration was my commitment and my willingness to learn
ways to care for Boo that were supportive and that would not diminish
his sense of self worth. This was and remains a learning experience
for me.
All
along the way, there have been choices. Do I want to continue to
care for Boo at home? Absolutely and resoundingly, I do. Is being
cared for at home best for Boo? This decision I make with input from
Boo's doctors, therapists and from friends who see and interact with
both of us frequently. Currently, the answer is yes...with some
reservations from one of his current doctors because she feels that I
am too young to “be trapped at home with an invalid.” (She also
believes that dementia patients are always best cared for in
an institutional setting.)
For
Boo, for me, for now...being at home is the best option.
Our
future is in God's Hands. Only He knows what lies ahead.
I
choose to look forward not at the past. I cannot dwell on the I-wish
and the we-planned themes. I choose to focus on what I believe God
wants me to do...today.
Sometimes
I succeed. Sometimes I don't.
Thankfully
I serve a forgiving God...Who loves me as I am, where I am. And Who
prods me to go forward.
How
do you make decisions about what is best for your loved one?
Pray...first
and foremost...and continually.
Talk
to your loved one. Involve him or her in the decision making process
as much as possible.
Ask
for advice from your loved one's medical providers and from those who
know you well.
Find
and use the resources in your community.
Find
or create a support group for yourself and for your loved one.
Make
the necessary decisions...knowing that no decision is final. If what
you try first doesn't work, modify your plan.
If
your loved one is not yet at a point that these decisions are
immediate, start talking. Start looking at options. Start making
tentative plans. It is far easier to make these plans together
now than to try to do so when you are emotionally distraught.
It
is my prayer that the God Who loves us,
Who
forgives us,
Who
catches us when we fall,
Who
carries us when we can walk no longer,
will
guide each of us
as
we struggle to find His best for us and for our loved one.
Walk With Him Wednesdays, Word Art Wednesday, Living Well Wednesday, God Bumps and God Incidences, Thought Provoking Thursdays, Thankful Thursdays, Thrive at Home Thursdays
Unveiled Wife
