“I
can do it!”
His
insistent tone let me know that my assistance was unwanted right
then. So, I watched and waited...and waited. Finally, I heard a
rather tired and somewhat confused voice calling out.
“Can
you help me?”
Because
I want Boo to be as independent as possible, some of my time is spent
watching and waiting. And waiting is just not easy! Not for me,
anyway. I want to fix. I want everything to go smoothly. I want to
nurture. I do not want to wait.
And
so, many times you'll find me standing in the hall crocheting. Or
praying a decade of the rosary. Or impatiently dancing from foot to
foot. This morning I sat on my hands. Whatever it takes to keep
myself from interfering.
If
I could leave Boo alone and not have to watch him struggle, I
wouldn't mind how long it took him to accomplish simple tasks. Some
days that's a possibility. Most days it isn't. Boo is often
unsteady or confused. He needs someone to watch and steady him...and
to catch him when he starts to fall.
Sitting
on my hands, my mind was furiously working. And then, I realized
just how appropriate the tableau in front of me was.
How
many times does God “sit on His hands” watching me struggle until
I finally ask for help? How many times does He reach out to steady
me ? How many times does God catch me as I fall?
“For
everyone that asketh, receiveth; and he that seeketh, findeth; and to
him that knocketh, it shall be openned.”
I miss you so much paw paw boo!! I love you more than you could ever imagine!! I can't wait to see you. I promise to come visit! I love you
ReplyDeleteThank you Lexy for even remembering me. Let me know as soon as you think you'll be coming this way. I don't want to miss you. I hope Boudreaux is ready to welcome someone from back home. I want you to meet him. I love you so much!
DeletePapa Boo