“I can do it!”
His insistent tone let me know that my assistance was unwanted right then. So, I watched and waited...and waited. Finally, I heard a rather tired and somewhat confused voice calling out.
“Can you help me?”
Because I want Boo to be as independent as possible, some of my time is spent watching and waiting. And waiting is just not easy! Not for me, anyway. I want to fix. I want everything to go smoothly. I want to nurture. I do not want to wait.
And so, many times you'll find me standing in the hall crocheting. Or praying a decade of the rosary. Or impatiently dancing from foot to foot. This morning I sat on my hands. Whatever it takes to keep myself from interfering.
If I could leave Boo alone and not have to watch him struggle, I wouldn't mind how long it took him to accomplish simple tasks. Some days that's a possibility. Most days it isn't. Boo is often unsteady or confused. He needs someone to watch and steady him...and to catch him when he starts to fall.
Sitting on my hands, my mind was furiously working. And then, I realized just how appropriate the tableau in front of me was.
How many times does God “sit on His hands” watching me struggle until I finally ask for help? How many times does He reach out to steady me ? How many times does God catch me as I fall?
“For everyone that asketh, receiveth; and he that seeketh, findeth; and to him that knocketh, it shall be openned.”